Final Fantasy VII/Leading Tifa

Wait, now this gets complicated
As noted in the previous chapter, there's a long, long, long cutscene here. Since the walkthrough doesn't focus on plot discussion, I don't think it's needed to go over it here. You find out a lot of interesting things, such as that the Black Materia is actually blue, and not at all pyramidlike like previously.

The point is, Cloud isn't with you anymore. He fell to the gigantic lifestream explosion in the Northern Crater.

But I'd like to introduce you to yet another JRPG cliché, called Dekar's Rule: "If you don't actually see a character die (or are explicitly told so by somebody who did), they're not dead." So quit worrying about Cloud.

Execution on all channels at three o'clock!
For some time henceforth, you're mainly controlling Tifa. Cloud's materia and accessory have been miraculously returned to your inventory. Note that if your third party member wasn't Barret, the materia that was on whoever was your third character at the time isn't available for you; you'll run into a few of the other characters soon enough, but at most, you need to wait until you get out of this predicament you'll find yourself now....

Tifa wakes up after being knocked out for seven days. Barret shows her what's happening outside: The Meteor is coming from the skies. Eek.

Rufus and Heidegger show up and clap you in irons. They have decided to cheer up the populace with a televised public execution.

For a brief while, you're controlling Barret. Follow Tifa and the soldiers downstairs, there's a save point here too. You'll end up in the press room. Scarlet throws Tifa in the gas chamber and the guards lock her there. (Oh wow! Look! The guard dropped a key! I've got an addition to that cliché list: "If the characters are condemned to some death trap, and NPC drops a key, well, just do one plus one, okay?")

And just as Scarlet, that sadistic executioner, wants to see Tifa squirm and beg for mercy, the base gets attacked by one of the Weapons released from the crater in that previous big cutscene. The thing, incidentally, is called Sapphire Weapon - though the name isn't mentioned anywhere in the game.

Also, it turns out one of the reporters was Cait Sith in disguise. Here's some silly-scented chloroform, Scarlet! Take that and that and that, soldiers! Barret can't obviously get the gas chamber door open, so Cait Sith suggests opening it from elsewhere, so Barret and Cait Sith join up. Equip the characters as you see fit.

As you go out, you find out that Scarlet woke up and locked the door from inside. Eep. Cait Sith gets a great idea, but won't tell you what it is - head right down to the airfield. Outside, if Yuffie is with your party, she's here - talk to her and she's back in the fray. Press on. Head to the upper level on the airfield, and go right, where the big airship is waiting. Well, I wonder what will happen now? I really do?

Meanwhile, in the gas chamber, Tifa shows us some amazing escape artist skills. Basically, follow the on-screen instructions to


 * 1) slide down, and pull the key closer
 * 2) pick up the key with feet
 * 3) take the key in the mouth
 * 4) use the key in mouth to the manacles in hand to unlock them.

Then use the console on left to shut down the gas.

How to get out? Well, the Sapphire Weapon wants to really roast the Junon base, and gashes a big hole in the wall - coincidentally, right where the gas chamber was. Get out, climb down the wall...

...go forth and, um, you have no other place to go besides the big gun barrel.

Scarlet, the slap-o-phile, shows up, and tries to slap Tifa. Tifa isn't handcuffed now, of course. In this scene, one of the defining scenes of the Final Fantasy series, two ladies&mdash;one evil corporate executive with ambition to build various devices to kill people in interesting ways, and one with a heart of gold and a noble cause to fight tirelessly on and on without reward&mdash;engage in an epic cheek-slapping contest atop the barrel of a gigantic cannon over the naval harbor of Junon, with the late afternoon sun painting the scene with soft orange tones, the only sounds being the crash of the waves, cry of the seagulls, and the slaps of the combatants&mdash;both committed, for different reasons, to take this fight as far as it has to go. (This scene is pure genius, I tell you.)

Okay, so eventually, Scarlet yields and notes that Tifa has nowhere to go but to jump down to her death. But luckily, the airship Highwind shows up. Barret tosses down a rope and Tifa leaps aboard. Yay! Crisis averted!