Takeshi no Chousenjou/Walkthrough

This Walkthrough is designed to help players who can't read Japanese get through the game in the least number of steps. It does not go into great detail about every option available to you in every section of the game, as there is just too much to translate.

''Note: Part of the requirements to complete the game is to divorce your wife. When you do, you lose 75% of the money that you are currently carrying. The first few steps of the walkthrough are designed to help you divorce your wife when you are completely broke, so that you won't lose any money in the process.''
 * 1) Go to bank, close out account.
 * 2) * Walk out of the office where you start (to the right). Walk to the right to the end of the block and enter the last building which is the bank, a yellow building with a "東興銀行" sign above the door.
 * 3) * Talk to last lady, and choose top option (はい, yes) to close out your account and get $50,000.
 * 4) Go to BG Culture Club.
 * 5) * From the bank, walk to the left, past your office, and enter the building to the left with "カルチャークラブB.G" on the sign.
 * 6) * Learn how to play the Samisen: Choose third option (おんがく, music), choose fourth option (しゃみせん, samisen), agree to pay $45,000 (top option, ああ いいよ)
 * 7) Get drunk at the karaoke bar.
 * 8) * Enter the right block gate (よいよい横丁, good good alley), and continue right until you reach the karaoke bar, a tan building between two purple buildings, with the sign "カラオケスナックあぜ道".
 * 9) * Take a seat at the bar, choose any of the top three options (liquor, scotch, or brandy), but not the bottom option (water).
 * 10) * Each time you drink, you will be asked, in various ways, if you would like another. Keep selecting the top option to agree until you black out.
 * 11) Divorce your wife.
 * 12) * When you wake up, you will be at home. Be careful because both your wife and kids will attack you.
 * 13) * Approach to the right and a dialog will begin. Choose the last option (りこん してくれ, have a divorce).  Then choose the top option (いしゃりょうを はらう, pay her consolidation money), and you will be divorced.  Leave the house.
 * 14) Quit your job.
 * 15) * Takeshi no Chousenjou Screen1.gif your home, walk all the way to the right, to the end of the block. Pass the long building, and walk to the right of the orange building.  At the edge of the screen, push up to return to the original block.
 * 16) * Return to your office (the light gray and blue building, with the "極東興業" sign), and enter your boss' office.
 * 17) * Talk to your boss and collect your $20,000 salary. Leave the room and return.  This time choose the 1st option (じひょうを だす, give him a letter of resignation), and collect the $50,000 severance.
 * 18) * Finally, squat down by the potted plant in the main office to collect a $10,000 nest egg that you had been hiding. You should now have $80,000.
 * 19) Learn Hang Gliding and the Hintoba language.
 * 20) * Return to the BG Culture Club to the left.
 * 21) * Select the 2nd option (すぽーつ, sports), and then the 2nd option again (はんぐぐらいだー, Hang Glider), agree to pay $55,000 (top option, ああ いいよ). Leave a return (or just press Select).
 * 22) * Select the 1st option (ごがく, language study), and then the 4th option again (ひんたぼご, Hintoba language), agree to pay $50,000 (top option, ああ いいよ)
 * 23) Purchase a ticket to the South Pacific
 * 24) * Go to the left block gate (にこにこ銀座, Smiling Ginza [shopping district]). Walk to the travel agency (トラブ（ベ）ル玉川, Travel Tamagawa [Travel is initially misspelled as Trouble]).  You'll have to jump over the door of the Pachinko Parlor to reach it.
 * 25) * Go inside, and choose the third option (みなみたいへいよう, South Pacific). Agree to pay $450,000 (top option, ああ いいよ)
 * 26) Earn a Samisen from the Pachinko Parlor.
 * 27) * Note: This is the first section of the game that requires that you use the microphone of the second controller. Alternatively, you can press  on the second controller to manually activate speech.  From that point forward, you only need to press the A button alone.  You must do this before you sit down to play pachinko.  This is also the scene of a big fight, so make sure you have a good amount of health.
 * 28) * Sit down at one of the pachinko machines. Choose the least amount of balls, 100 balls for $500 and a pachinko game will start.  Tap  to flick the balls onto the playfield so that they yield no extra balls.  You actually want to run out of balls.
 * 29) * Just as you approach your last ball, start shouting into the mic, or press on the second controller to yell.  If you do it correctly, the Yakuza that runs the parlor will be upset with your yelling and come in to beat you up.
 * 30) * You can fight the Yakuza members, or cower behind the prize desk, but you must knock out at least one member. After some time, if you haven't been defeated, some one will talk with you and offer you 5000 balls to go away quietly.
 * 31) * (Once that happens, press Select and leave the sub menu, and the remaining attacking members will disappear). Approach the prize desk and trade 4000 balls for the Samisen (しゃみせん), and leave the parlor.
 * 32) Sing Karaoke to get a treasure map.
 * 33) * Return to the karaoke bar (Enter the right block gate (よいよい横丁, good good alley), and continue right until you reach the karaoke bar, a tan building between two purple buildings, with the sign "カラオケスナックあぜ道".)
 * 34) * Sit down at the bar. Agree to have one drink, and then agree to have another (top option), but refuse a third (bottom option).  You will then be asked to give karaoke a try.  Agree to do it (top option).
 * 35) * Note: Once again, you need to be able to use the microphone, or have the A button of the second controller set the speech. Walk over to the karaoke set, and then face left.  You will be asked to select a song.
 * 36) * You will be offered a selection of five genres and five songs within each genre, but the bar only has four songs available. The crowd at the bar prefers Enka music (えんか, 1st option), and the only available Enka song is Rain of a New Frontier (あめの しんかいち, 2nd option).
 * 37) * The song will start, and you must sing well enough to get complimented three times. Since the game can't actually tell how well you sing, you only need to yell or blow very hard into the microphone, or tap A on the second controller periodically.  It does not even have to be done to the beat of the song.
 * 38) * If you do well, you will be asked to sing one more song (you will see a 1 in the message). If you do not get this message, you are being asked to quit.  Agree to quit (top option), and leave the bar and reenter to try again.  Otherwise, agree to sing another song (top option).  For the sake of convenience, just keep choosing the same song, the bar patrons don't care.
 * 39) * After you sing for a second and third time, they will ask you to sing another song at random. You are given two options.  Choose the bottom option (けんかする, quarrel), and a fight will break out in the bar.  Yakuza members will show up.  You have to eliminate any hostess that is standing in the bar as that will prevent you from earning the treasure map.
 * 40) * After all of the women have been beaten up, lay low (literally squat down), and beat up one of the Yakuza members after a while so that an old man shows up. The old man will offer you a piece of paper.
 * 41) Reveal the treasure map.
 * 42) * Looking at the paper you receive from the old man, it is initially blank. You are given a set of choices regarding what to do with it.  The third option is to soak it in water (みずに つける), and the fifth option is to expose it to sunlight (にっこうに さらす).  Any other option will result in you losing the map.
 * 43) * Takeshi no Chousenjou Screen2.gif If you choose the third option, to soak it in water, you must allow the game to sit for at least 5 minutes, but not more than 10, without touching the controller. After five minutes, you must "cry" into the microphone (or press A on the second controller), and the map will appear.  If you wait more than 10 minutes, the map will disintegrate, and you will have to leave the bar and repeat the karaoke sequence.
 * 44) * If you choose the fifth option, to expose it to sunlight, you must allow the game to sit for an hour without touching the controller. Once an hour passes, the map will appear.  If touch the controller before the hour is up, you will lose the map and you will have to leave the bar and repeat the karaoke sequence.
 * 45) * Once the map appears, you will be back in the bar. You must beat up the old man who gave you the map (or presumably, he will beat you to obtaining the treasure.)  This step is required.
 * 46) Head for the airport
 * 47) * If you happen to be in need of health, you can walk left from the Karaoke Bar to the "Gold Bar" and buy Tequilla (てきーら, 4th option), and agree to pay $8000 (top option, ああ いいよ). You will gain a little bit of health back for each drink.  You only need about one heart.
 * 48) * Return to the bank where you withdrew your money. Walk to the right side of the bank, and push up to enter the Airport district.  Continue to walk all the way to the right until you reach the airport.
 * 49) * Step inside the airport, and walk to the right to board your plane for the South Pacific. If you do not have the treasure map, or you purchased the wrong ticket, the plane will explode mid-flight and the game will end.
 * 50) Exchange your money.
 * 51) * After you flight, walk right to exit the airport, and you will appear in safari clothing.
 * 52) * Continue to walk right until you reach the BANK. Walk up to the desk and ask to have your money exchanged (りょうがえ してくれ, 1st option), then leave the bank.
 * 53) Regain all of your health.
 * 54) * Walk to the right to the HOTEL. Agree to stay in a room to regain your health.  The goal is to reach 127.  Each option on the menu is a different quality of room, from the lowest quality at the top, to the highest quality at the bottom.  The quality affect the price and how much health you get back.
 * 55) * If you are really low on health, agree to stay at the highest quality room (last option) for $60,000 and regain 64 hit points. Do this twice and you will be at full strength.
 * 56) Purchase embroidery
 * 57) * Exit the hotel and walk right to the next building, MIYAGE.
 * 58) * Agree to purchase the Embroidery (ししゅう, 1st option) for $3000.
 * 59) Buy a Canteen and Gun.
 * 60) * Walk to the right past the CASINO to the EQUIPMENT store (You only need to enter the Casino if you are low on money, but that shouldn't be a problem if you follow this walkthrough).
 * 61) * Enter the EQUIPMENT store and agree to purchase the canteen (すいとう, 2nd option) for $4000, and a gun (じゅう, 3rd option) for $20,000
 * 62) * After you purchase the gun, you can set it as your attack weapon by entering the subscreen, and selecting the fourth option (こうげき, attack).
 * 63) Go Hang Gliding
 * 64) * Exit the store, and head right to the RESORT CENTER. There are a couple of options to choose from here, even a Cessna, but the only option that will help you access the island that contains the treasure according to the map is the Hang Glider.  It is also the only one that you learned how to operate.
 * 65) * Select Hang Glider (はんぐぐらいだー, 5th option), and exit out of the room to the right to start the Hang Gliding section.
 * 66) ** Takeshi no Chousenjou Screen3.gif Throughout the Hang Gliding section, you can move left, right, or down. You cannot cause the Hang Glider to rise under your own power.  The only thing that can raise your position is to allow a gust of wind to hit the Hang Glider.
 * 67) ** Your goal is to make it to the fourth island. As you fly, you will be attacked by large birds and UFOs.  The birds will try to home in on your position and crash into you.  They are a lot more dangerous than the UFOs.  The UFOs will fire lasers at you, which can damage you.  At full strength, it only takes 6 UFO shots to kill you.
 * 68) ** UFOs will attack after the second island, and birds will join the UFOs after the third island (which has two hills). When you see the fourth island come into view, drop down.  To land on it properly, you must slip between the land and the low gust of wind the blows over the land.  Don't touch the ground, fly just above it.  If you do it correctly, you will see a new screen welcoming you (ポリネシアン キッド, Polynesian Kid) to Polynesian Island of CHOBARIN.
 * 69) ** If you fail to land on the fourth island, you will continue on to the next large body of land, which happens to be occupied by the "Red Country" (a mix of communist Russia and Nazi Germany). Eventually, you will have no choice but to slam into the side of a mountain, and your game will be over.
 * 70) (Optional) Receive clue about the hermit.
 * 71) * Now that you're on the island, you must be very careful about which huts you enter. If you enter any hut other than the ones that you are instructed to, you will become trapped in them.  If you get trapped in these huts, you can return to the RESORT CENTER by standing about a sixth of the screen away from the right side and pressing up.
 * 72) * As indicated, this step is entirely optional. Continue walking right until you pass a string of huts.  If you reach the jungle, return to the left and enter the hut closest to the jungle.  This is the chiefs hut.
 * 73) * The chief will ask you what you are doing here. Regardless of what response you choose, you will be thrown in the boiling pot.
 * 74) * While in the pot, you must choose to play the Samisen (しゃみせんを ひく, 2nd option). The chief will be moved to tears and tell you to go visit the hermit, who's hut is on the top of a small hill.  However, another chief will also appear and start attacking you.  Exit out through the left.
 * 75) Visit the hermit
 * 76) * Walk to the right, all the way through the jungle. While walking through the jungle, be very careful to avoid the green coconuts that the monkeys fling at you, as they do a terrible amount of damage.  Once you're out of the jungle, continue right past the very large hill until you reach a smaller hill with a hut on top.  (You may have to squat-jump in order to reach the hut.)
 * 77) * Step inside, and the hermit will ask you what you want. Choose to offer him a present (おくりものをします, 4th option), and then offer the canteen (すいとう, 5th option).
 * 78) * Once you give him the canteen, he will reward you by telling you that a special man in the village holds a precious item that you must obtain. That special man is, of course, the village chief.
 * 79) Get the precious item
 * 80) * Return to the left, all the way past the jungle, and into the hut closest to the jungle. Once you've pleased the hermit, the village chief will not act so hostile to you and throw you into the pot like he did before.
 * 81) * He will ask you what you want. Choose to offer him a present (おくりもの もってきました, 2nd option), and then offer the embroidery (ししゅう, 3rd option).
 * 82) * The chief will be pleased with your gift, and present you with the villages most precious article, handed down from generation to generation: a holy stone.
 * 83) * (If you like, you can equip this rock to use as an attack item, but you're better off with the gun.)
 * 84) Enter the treasure cave.
 * 85) * Takeshi no Chousenjou Screen4.gif With the village's holy stone, return right through the jungle until you reach the very high hill.
 * 86) * The top of this hill is composed mostly of large rocks, but there are two tiny rocks on the hill top. The entrance can only be accessed from the left tiny rock.
 * 87) * The easiest way to reach the left tiny rock is to stand beneath the right tiny rock, squat down, hold left, and perform a jump. You should squat-jump all the way up to the left tiny rock.
 * 88) * Once you are standing on the left tiny rock, keep squatting until you find the right entrance. If you aren't permitted in, move very slightly to the right and try again.
 * 89) Collect the treasure.
 * 90) * While navigating the cave, avoid conflict as much as possible, since there are very few chances to refill your life (hearts are hidden in the cave), and you don't want to die here. If you get caught between enemies, hit Select to access the subscreen, and return to the game, and the screen will briefly be clear of enemies.
 * 91) * The treasure cave is composed of four floors. In order to access the floor below, you must squat down in a very precise location on each floor.  The locations of where to squat down on each floor is provided below.