Menace Beach

Menace Beach is a rather odd game known, by those who have played it, to have quirky enemies and questionable intermission scenes involving a girl and her slowly disappearing clothes.

Controls

 * - Pauses the game.
 * - Not used.
 * - Jump.
 * - Punch.
 * - Moves your character.

Stage 1
"One day..."

"Sorry babe, it looks like our little date at the malt shop has been postponed. It seems I'm all tied up at the moment. Please help me out here, or you'll see my bad side."

You start the game beside an oddly shaped house with the worst paint job I’ve ever seen. Who's ever heard of a blue house with a green door. Unspeakable I'd say. Head right and at the right end of the blue house, a ninja will pop out. Grab one of the bottles the person is tossing out the window and bean the ninja with it to kill him. Now jump over the boxes and the hole, and when you come to another set of houses, you should grab another bottle from the guy dropping them from his window. Use it to clock the ninja hanging around on the roof.

Right after that is another fire hydrant which you can use to get the heart on the roof, just watch out for the clown with the balloon, dropping bombs on people under him. It's best to just ignore him and move on. Now, go back and grab one last bottle and take it to the green house at the far right. A ninja will be there waiting for you, so chuck the bottle at him, and jump over the boxes a little past the green house. You're in the clear now, all you have to do is continue to the right and you'll finish the stage. Yippee!

Stage 2
"Meanwhile at Demon Dan's."

"Rescue me you little twit! My wrists are chafing, and I've already broken a nail. Prove to me you're a real man by getting me out of here."

Now you're inside someone's house which coincidentally look more like a bathroom (or a sewer) than anything else. There's also a lot of other stuff on the screen at the start (a light switch, and two spinners), but it's all useless in my opinion, so head right, jump over the springboard, and quickly move by the proximity mine until you see the big, new thing in enemies: a sewer-dwelling Elvis impersonator. Heh. Kill him, and then jump on the spring to get on the pipe above.

Go left and either jump on the Frog hopping around or the spring at the left end of the pipe to get the heart. Now, go right again and jump on the springboard to land on the pipe to the right. Jump over the spinner on the ground, and keep going until you see a gap in the pipe above you. Use the springboard nearby to get up there, then the other springboard to get to the top. Now go all the way to the left and grab the extra life at the edge, just don't touch the spinner nearby or you'll get knocked off the pipe.

Either way go right again until you see another Elvis impersonator. Kill him and continue right, but there'll be a dead-end over there. The only way to get to that pipe ledge is to use the springboard that’s in the air to catapult yourself to the pipe above, then jump off to the pipe you were trying to get to. Now, jump on the springboard to get across the water, just don't fall into the water, or you'll lose a life. It's kind of tricky how the springboard works, especially since you're going across quite a bit of water, but this tip should help you out.

You need forward momentum to cross the water, so bounce once, then press right and you should fly across to the other side. There's more springboards to greet you on the other side of the water and a spinner at the top, so don't hit it or you'll go flying into the water. Once you've made it to the top, you should see another Elvis impersonator, so jump down, grab a wrench, and toss it at him for an easy kill. Now, all you have to do is go to the right and you've completed another stage.

Stage 3
"Meanwhile at Demon Dan's"

"I hope you can do better than that, shrimp. I've been here so long my clothes are starting to rot. Now quit being so wimpy and get me outta here!"

Damn, with a girlfriend like her, you don't need enemies. Especially the weird enemies inhabiting this game. Two Ninjas will appear right at the beginning, both of them on boxes to the right of you. Don't go up to them though, wait for them to come to you, that way you can beat them up one at a time, or if you're impatient, run up to one of them and beat him up quickly, then move onto the other one. After you kill them, head right but NOT too far, just up to the manhole near the blue house.

Wait for the guy in the sewer to give you a balloon, then just float to the roof of the next house and stay up there, where you'll see the ugliest enemy in video game history - an nearly naked Sumo-Wrestler. Heh. Anyway, the idea here is to just wait for the Sumo-Wrestler to run into one of the bombs that are being thrown around, so he'll explode into pixilated chunked and you can move on. Stay on the roof and get the heart on the other side of the house, then fall to the ground and kill the Ninja waiting around for you.

Now, jump across the large hole to the right (you can make it, you just have to time your jump). Continue over the set of boxes ahead of you, then the other set, but try to grab a bottle from one of the guys in the sewer before you go. Now, take the bottle and use it on the Ninja ahead, then go back and grab another bottle and use it on the Ninja near the blue house, then another one to use on the Ninja near the green house.

After you kill the Ninja near the green house, go back to where the Clown with the balloon was and mug it for it's balloon. Take it to far right, where the second Sumo-Wrestler is and stay on the roof of the building there until it's killed by the bombs. There will be another Sumo Wrestler ahead and seemingly no easy way to kill him but there's always a way! Jump over him and wait by one of the manholes for a balloon. Take it to the roof of the house and wait for this Sumo Wrestler to run into a bomb. All that remains now is to cross the hole ahead. Grab one of the balloons and take it across to finish the stage.