Danger Mouse Ultimate/Clown to Earth

Narrator: Having "accidentally" totally offended the Bozorian leadership, Danger Mouse is on the verge of signing a peace treaty onboard their fearsome battlecruiser.

Danger Mouse: I fully appreciate laughing is never a laughing matter on Bozoria. And I can see how anti-gravity knickers are not a joke...no matter how many times they fall down. Please accept my apologies for disrespecting your ridiculous culture.

Pom-Pom: I shall relay your sincere apology to the Bozorian hive mind

Penfold: ''That was a close call Chief. Now just don't let anything at all'' make you laugh

Narrator: With the situation well and truly jinxed, we must hope that the Bozorians do nothing remotely humorous Like for example a particularly ludicrous looking mind-meld perhaps...

Pom-Pom: Bozorians meld!

Narrator: Ah...Oh dear.

Danger Mouse: ''Whaaa-hahahaha!!! Oh please! I mean that was hilarious!''

Pom-Pom: You've made fun of us for the last time earthlings!

Penfold: ''Come on Chief, apologise AND mean it. Otherwise earth is'' doomed!

Danger Mouse: ''OK, OK! I'm sorry. Honestly. I mean it. Really sorry!''

Pom-Pom: Too late, laughy laughy earth dweller.

Narrator: And in a baggy panted, oversized shoe'd HUFF, the Bozorians ''prepare to obliterate the earth. Talk about no sense of humour...''

Level 1
Coins: 10 Bonus Items: 50 Once Danger Mouse and Penfold have reappeared on the screen, you will have to make Danger Mouse jump up onto the second and third steps of the ground in turn, then get into a square-wheeled car (the remaining time for which will be displayed in the top-left corner of the screen), and collect a coin; once you've done so, you will have to jump over to the ground's fifth step (collecting another coin in the process), then double-jump over to the ground's seventh step (collecting two more coins in the process), its ninth step (collecting a fifth coin in the process), and its eleventh step (collecting a sixth coin in the process). You'll then have to drop down onto the second of ten jump pads on the ground's twelfth step to collect a seventh coin and be propelled back up into the air - and once you have done so you will have to drop down onto the sixth jump pad to collect three more coins and be propelled back up to the ground's thirteenth step, then enter the door to exit the level. Control will then be switched to Penfold for the level's bonus section, where you have to collect as many of the fifty bonus items as you can before that bomb in the bottom-right corner of the screen explodes; once you have entered the door, you'll receive a one-, two-, or three-star rating, determined by how many coins and bonus items you collected. If you had only got one or two stars, click the "Replay" button to replay the level, but if you got three, you have to click the "Continue" button next to it to proceed to the second level.

Level 2
Coins: 10 Bonus Items: 40 Once Danger Mouse and Penfold have reappeared on the screen, you shall have to make Danger Mouse run to the right and get into a square-wheeled car; once you have done so you will have to double-jump over a unicycling Bozorian clown onto the ground's third step (collecting a coin in the process), double-jump over two more unicycling Bozorian clowns to the ground's fifth step (collecting two more coins in the process), double-jump up to a platform to collect a fourth coin, drop down onto a right-moving conveyor belt, and drive onto another right-moving conveyor belt to collect a Freeze Ray. You will then have to drop down into a cannon - and once the cannon is pointing north, you shall have to fire it to launch Danger Mouse up into a second cannon (collecting a fifth coin in the process). Once this second cannon is pointing north, you shall have to fire it to launch Danger Mouse up to a pair of wooden platforms; once you've done so you shall have to jump up to two more pairs of wooden platforms in turn before the ones below them fall to collect a sixth coin, drop back down to the left onto the first and second steps of a second solid platform in turn, fire a Freeze Ray at a fourth unicycling Bozorian clown to freeze him, and smash him to kill him. You'll then have to jump back to the left up to the platform's third step, drop down to the left onto its fourth step, fire a shot at a fifth unicycling Bozorian clown to freeze him, and smash him to kill him - and once you've done so, you shall have to jump back to the left up to the platform's fifth step and get into a second square-wheeled car. You'll then have to drive back to the left over six more trios of wooden platforms (jumping up to collect a seventh coin over the third one), drop down to the left onto a third solid platform, jump onto a jump pad to get propelled up to the first step of a fourth platform (collecting an eighth coin in the process), jump up to the second and third steps of the platform in turn, jump onto a seventh trio and two more quartets of wooden platforms in turn (collecting two more coins in the process), drive onto the first step of a fifth platform, and jump up to the platform's second step to enter the door and exit the level; control will then be switched to Penfold for the level's bonus section where you have to collect as many of the forty bonus items as you can before the bomb in the bottom-right corner of the screen explodes. Once you have entered the door you'll receive a one-, two-, or three-star rating determined by how many coins and bonus items you collected - and if you only got one or two stars, click the "Replay" button to replay the level, but if you got three stars, you'll have to click that "Continue" button next to it in order to proceed to the third level.

Level 3
Coins: 10 Bonus Items: 30 Once Danger Mouse and Penfold have reappeared on the screen, you'll have to make Penfold walk to the right onto a horizontally-moving platform and disguise himself so a security camera cannot see him (collecting a coin in the process, and in this episode, Penfold disguises himself as Pom-Pom with a mask of his face); once you've done so, you'll have to jump onto the ground's third step to collect another coin, walk onto another horizontally-moving platform, and disguise Penfold so another security camera cannot see him (collecting a third coin in the process). You shall now have to jump up to the ground's fifth step, drop down to grab a fourth coin and land on a jump pad on its sixth step to get propelled up to a wooden platform - and once you've done so, you will have to walk back to the left onto four more wooden platforms in turn to collect a fifth coin. You will then have to drop back down onto the ground's fifth step and the jump pad on its sixth step in turn to be propelled up to another jump pad on its seventh step; once you have landed on it you will be propelled onto the ground's eighth step. You will now have to collect a sixth coin and jump back to the left onto the first step of a platform to collect a red key (which will be displayed in the top-left corner of the screen); once you have done so you will have to jump up to the platform's second step and another platform in turn to collect a seventh coin, drop back down to that first platform's first step, jump back over to the ground's eighth step, and enter a teleporter to be warped over to that first platform's fifth step. You then have to use the red key to unlock a door and collect an eighth coin - and once you've done so, you shall have to drop down onto the platform's fourth step and disguise Penfold so a unicycling Bozorian clown cannot see him. You will now have to jump up to collect a ninth coin, jump onto the platform's third step to collect a tenth coin and enter the door to exit the level - and control shall now be switched to Danger Mouse for the level's bonus section where you must collect as many of the thirty bonus items as you can before the bomb in the bottom-right corner of the screen explodes. Once you have entered the door, you shall receive a one-, two- or three-star rating based on how many coins and bonus items you'd collected; if you only got one or two stars, you can click the "Replay" button to replay the level if you wish, but if you got three, you must click that "Continue" button next to it to go on to the fourth level (which features more unicycling Bozorian clowns).

Level 4
Coins: 10 Bonus Items: 50 Once Danger Mouse and Penfold have reappeared on the screen, you shall have to make Danger Mouse get into a square-wheeled car; once you have done so, you shall have to jump up to the ground's second and third steps in turn to collect a coin. You will then have to drop down to the ground's fourth step, drive onto two right-moving conveyor belts in turn and jump over four jack-in-the-boxes to collect another coin and land on the ground's sixth step - and once you've done so, you will have to jump up to three platforms in turn to collect a third coin, and jump back to the left onto the first step of a fourth platform to collect a Freeze Ray. You will then have to drop down to the left onto the platform's second step, fire a shot at a unicycling Bozorian clown to freeze him, and smash him to kill him; once you have done so, you will have to jump back to the left onto the platform's third step, jump onto a jump pad to be propelled up to the first step of a fifth platform (getting a fourth coin in the process), drop down to its second step, fire a shot at a second unicycling Bozorian clown to freeze him, and smash him to kill him. You will now have to jump up onto the platform's third step, jump onto a second jump pad to be propelled up to a wooden platform, collecting two more coins in the process, jump back to the left onto another wooden platform before it falls, and jump back to the left to collect a red key - and once you have done so, you will have to drop down to the left onto the first and second steps of a sixth platform in turn, fire a shot at a third unicycling Bozorian clown to freeze him and smash him to kill him. You then have to jump back to the left onto the platform's third step and get into another square-wheeled car; once you have done so, you shall have to drop down to the left onto the platform's fourth step, jump back to the left onto two more platforms in turn, jump onto a third jump pad to be propelled up to a ninth platform (getting a seventh coin in the process) and collect another Freeze Ray. You now have to jump onto a jump pad to be propelled back to the left up to a tenth platform, use the red key to unlock a door, and collect an eighth coin - and once you have done this, you will have to drop back down onto that third jump pad to be propelled up to the first step of a tenth platform, and walk onto one of five more wooden platforms when a fourth unicycling Bozorian clown on the platform's second step is not under it. Once the platform you were standing on has fallen, you shall drop down to the tenth solid platform's second step and collect a ninth coin; once you've fired a shot at the fourth unicycling Bozorian clown and smashed him to kill him, you shall have to jump up to the platform's third step, jump onto a fourth jump pad to be propelled back to the left up to an eleventh platform, and jump onto a fifth jump pad to collect a ninth coin. You will then have to drop down to the left onto the twelfth platform's third step and enter the door to exit the level - and control will now be switched to Penfold for the level's bonus section where you have to collect as many of the fifty bonus items as you can before that bomb in the bottom-right corner of the screen goes up. Once you have entered the door, you will receive a one-, two- or three-star rating based on how many coins and bonus items you collected; if you only got one or two, click that "Replay" button to replay this level if you wish, but if you got three, click that "Continue" button next to it to go to the fifth level.

Level 5
Coins: 10 Bonus Items: 50 Once Danger Mouse and Penfold have reappeared on the screen, you shall have to make Danger Mouse drop down into a teleporter to be warped up to the ceiling and drop down onto a horizontally-moving platform (collecting a coin in the process); once you have done so, you will have to drop down onto a right-moving conveyor belt, run onto two more right-moving conveyor belts in turn and jump over a jack-in-the-box to collect a second coin and land on a fourth right-moving conveyor belt. You shall then have to run onto two more right-moving conveyor belts in turn, jump up to two platforms in turn to get a third coin, jump up to a third platform and the first step of a fourth one in turn and get into a square-wheeled car; once you've done so, you will have to jump back to the left onto three more platforms in turn (collecting two more coins in the process) and jump up into a cannon. Once the cannon's pointing north you will have to fire it to launch Danger Mouse up to another cannon - and once this second cannon points north, you shall have to fire it to launch Danger Mouse up to the second of five wooden platforms (collecting a seventh coin in the process). You shall then have to jump onto the first step of an eighth solid platform and collect a Shrink Ray; once you've done so you shall have to drop down to the platform's second step, fire a shot at a unicycling Bozorian clown to shrink him and run over him to kill him. You'll then have to jump up to the platform's third step, drop down to its fourth step, fire a shot at another unicycling Bozorian clown to shrink him and run over him to kill him - and once you have done so, you shall have to jump up to the platform's third step, drop down to its fourth step, fire a shot at a third unicycling Bozorian clown to shrink him and run over him to kill him. You'll now have to jump up to the platform's seventh step and get into a third square-wheeled car; once you have done so you will have to jump up to two more platforms in turn to collect two more coins, fall back down onto the ninth platform and a seventh right-moving conveyor belt in turn, drive over thirteen more right-moving conveyor belts in turn, jump up to the first and second steps of an eleventh platform in turn, and get into a fourth square-wheeled car. You then have to jump back to the left up to the first step of a twelfth platform, drop down to the left onto its second step and push a dumpster back to the left until it falls onto a button (collecting a tenth coin in the process) - and once you've done so, you'll have to retrace your steps back down to that eleventh platform's second step and enter the door to exit the level. Control will then be switched to Penfold for the level's bonus section, where you will have to collect as many of the fifty bonus items as you can before that bomb in the bottom-right corner of the screen goes up; once you have entered the door, you shall receive a one-, two-, or three-star rating, determined by how many coins and bonus items you had collected. If you had only got one or two stars, click that "Replay" button to replay this level if you wish, but if you got three, you'll have to click that "Continue" button next to it to proceed to the sixth level.

Ollie The Smell: Nooo stop it. What's wrong with you. What are we, savages

Amy/Joyce You're right, this clown based madness really has gone too far. I really 'AM sorry this time

Kayla/Jane: I think we've all learned there's a little bit of clown in all of us and maybe it's time to all be friends

Ollie The Smell: You earthlings have shown us that perhaps we do need to work on our sense of humour

Amy/Joyce: And when it comes to interplanetary relations, I need to remember that laughing should be done with the upmost seriousness

Alfie Martin: And so, appeased by our hero's honest and definitely-not-fake'regret, the Bozorians leave our little planet in peace...Rather than pieces