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Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
You are talking to the Scientists, young man. You can probably see some of us now - the clever chaps in yellow.

Would you like our respect? We would be most impressed if you chose to eliminate some Zaibatsu.

Green phones[edit]

SINK OR SWIM![edit]

West phone

Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Hello, THC-303, it's Dr LaBrat. Zaibatsu Operatives have secret SRS data and I want it back. Steal a Taxi and keep it in one piece - too much destruction will alert the Cops.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
The first Zaibatsu is waiting by the Clock Tower. He suspects nothing.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Sound the horn, THC-303.
Zaibatsu Operative Zaibatsu Operative
Taxi! You are early. Where are the others?
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Good, THC-303. Pick up the second Z-Operative.
Zaibatsu Operative Zaibatsu Operative
At last! Taxi!
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Well done, THC-303. Now find the third Z-Man.
Ziabatsu Operative Ziabatsu Operative
About time! Here is my Z-ID.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Only one Z-Operative to collect, THC-303.
Zaibatsu Operative Zaibatsu Operative
Ooh, is there a party going on in here?
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Drive our Zaibatsu friends to the South-East Dock Crane, THC-303.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Get out of the car, THC-303, and watch the Zaibatsu die!
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Efficient and effective work, THC-303. Here is $30,000. Spend it productively.

FAKE TRUCE![edit]

East phone

Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Ah, THC-303. Dr LaBrat here. The Zaibatsu and Rednecks want a peace meeting so I'm taking the opportunity to perform an experiment. Collect the old Factory Bus and I will unravel my plan.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
First, collect the Redneck delegation from Cobbs Store in Mobile RV.
Redneck Redneck
Okay, boys, get on the Bus - and no spittin'!
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Now drive to The Ol' Banjo and pick up some more White Trash.
Redneck Redneck
C'mon, climb aboard!
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Drive with haste to the Zaibatsu Village, THC-303, and collect the Zaibatsu delegates.
Zaibatsu Zaibatsu
Climb aboard, Z-Operatives. But do not communicate with the Rednecks.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Okay, THC-303, only one more Zaibatsu group to collect.
Zaibatsu Zaibatsu
All aboard, Z-Men.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Now be careful, THC-303. Bring them all back to the Scientist Research Center - and fast.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
You did well, THC-303. Now get off the Bus and let my SRS Clones take it from here.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Congratulations, THC-303. I can see your talents developing under my auspices. Here is $30,000 for your hard work.

Yellow phones[edit]

LABRAT'S PLAN![edit]

North phone

Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Ah, THC-303! Dr LaBrat here. SRS research suggests the Zaibatsu population is on the rise. Please visit The Village and reduce their number to a more acceptable statistical median.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Here you are at The Village, THC-303. Now I don't care which ones you kill - just so long as you kill 47 of them.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Come on, THC-303! Kill! Kill! Kill!
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Keep it up, THC-303!
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Wonderful work, THC-303 - worthy of $50,000.

GRAN'PA WE LOVE YOU![edit]

South phone

Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Hello, THC-303, it's Dr LaBrat. The Professor wants to experiment on a Redneck and has chosen the one they call Gran'pa. First you need to win their confidence...

Head over to the Opry Car Park and meet with Gran'pa's grandson Dirk. You need his Pickup to kidnap Gran'pa.

Dirk Dirk
Hey there, City Boy! You here to race? Anyone who beats mah record fer huntin' down and killin' THREE escaped Loonies wins mah Pickup.

Take your pick from these fine automobiles and the clock will start to tick!

Dirk Dirk
Drive fast, City Boy, and you might just get mah Pickup. Don't bother tryin' to get out of that car - the doors are locked shut! Hoo-hah!

Ready? Steady! Go, Boy! GO!

Dirk Dirk
GodDAMN you are one superfast son-of-a-bitch! I hate to say this but... mah Pickup's all yours, City Boy!
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Well done, THC-303. Now go to the Ol' Banjo and collect Gran'pa.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
There's Gran'pa. He's old and blind but he should recognize the sound of Dirk's Pickup... Sound the horn to get his attention.
Gran'pa Gran'pa
Hey there, young fella! Go easy on that horn! I'm comin'.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Fantastic, THC-303. Bring Gran'pa to the Research Center - in one piece. Do not let the Rednecks catch you.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Smooth, THC-303. You are a cool operator. Please accept $50,000 with our thanks for all your hard work.

REDNECK ATTACK![edit]

Previous phone

Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
THC-303 - it's Dr LaBrat. Drunken Rednecks are using our high-powered Generators for target practise. Go now and prepare to protect our power source.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
We need at least ONE Generator intact, THC-303, so defend them well. The Rednecks are on the move. We should have auxiliary power on line in TWO minutes.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Excellent, THC-303. We are still at full power. Here's $50,000.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
You only lost one Generator, THC-303, so we have no need for auxiliary power. Here's $30,000.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Well, THC-303, at least we still have one operational Generator to take the strain. Here's $10,000.

Red phone[edit]

TAXI TRAITOR TEST![edit]

Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Hello, THC-303, it's Dr LaBrat. Our prototype remote-control Taxi needs a good operator - like you. If you perform well further work will be made available.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Take the Taxi around the Test Track for FIVE laps - and if you beat the record the job is yours.
GO!
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Excellent, THC-303! You beat the time. Don't worry about the mess - we haven't had time to test the system properly.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Think you can handle test-driving the remote-control Taxi around town? Well that's the job.

We need you to pick up THREE suspected SRS Traitors, THC-303. Off you go - get the first one.

SRS Traitor SRS Traitor
Ah, just what I need - a Taxi.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Now the SRS Traitor is in the Taxi, THC-303 - DESTROY IT!
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
This SRS Traitor must also die!
SRS Traitor SRS Traitor
Ah, just what I need - a Taxi.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Now the SRS Traitor is in the Taxi, THC-303 - DESTROY IT!
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Come on, THC-303!
SRS Traitor SRS Traitor
Ah, just what I need - a Taxi.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Now the SRS Traitor is in the Taxi, THC-303 - DESTROY IT!
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
It's a pleasure to watch you work, THC-303. You deserve this $70,000.

WATER CARRY ON![edit]

Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
THC-303! Dr LaBrat here. We need you to shut down the H2000 Water Company, no questions asked.

I have SRS Clones who can help you, THC-303!

Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Destroy the FOUR Turbines and await further instruction. Oh yes - beware of the guards.
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Excellent, THC-303. Now all you need to do is destroy the Generator and the H2000 Water Company will have to call in the plumbers! Ha ha ha!
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Get out of there fast THC-303! The guards are on your tail!
Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Well done, THC-303. Now the H2000 Water Company is high and dry and we can continue with our cunning plan. Have $70,000 for your outstanding contribution.

SCIENTIST GANG COMPLETE![edit]

Dr LaBrat Dr LaBrat
Excellent work, THC-303! You have passed all of the Scientist jobs.