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Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
The blue markers always point to the nearest Yakuza phone where jobs are made available for anyone with enough respect.

You want Yakuza respect you better start killing Zaibatsu. Simple. The reasons - you will learn!

Green phones[edit]

GET ZITZAKI![edit]

West phone

Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Kosai! Johnny Zoo here. The Zaibatsu have discovered our experiments with Doctor ZitZaki. He needs help - and fast. Collect the marked car parked at City University.
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Doctor ZitZaki is waiting in the District Hospital. Don't keep him waiting.
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Doctor ZitZaki is wary of strangers, Kosai. Sound the horn so he knows it is safe.
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Good. Bring Doctor ZitZaki directly to the new J-Lab.
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Doctor ZitZaki is safe and Yakuza drug production can continue. Here is $20,000 for a job well done. Perhaps we can work together again, Kosai.

BANK ROBBERY![edit]

East phone

Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Ah, Kosai! Johnny Zoo here. I am having money illegally transferred to my bank account and I need you to help my inside man, Hiroshi. Take the vehicle and firepower provided.

Enter the marked Shark and get a S-Uzi Machine Gun.

Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Hiroshi will have moved the money into my account by the time you reach the City Bank to pick him up.
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Hiroshi will not come out until the two City Bank Guards are out of the way. What are you waiting for, Kosai?
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
You enjoyed killing those Guards, Kosai. This is the Yakuza way! Look - there's Hiroshi!
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
SHIT! Someone tipped off the Cops, Kosai! Your Cop Wanted Level has risen. Here's $5,000 so you can respray the car to throw the Cops off your trail.
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Excellent, Kosai! Now bring the car back to the Safehouse.
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Thank you for your efforts, Kosai. It is with gratitude I give you $20,000.

Yellow phones[edit]

HAPPY GAS SMASH![edit]

West phone

Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Hi, Kosai, it's Johnny Zoo. The Loonies still owe me money for merchandise. Get some wheels, get to the City University and GET MY DOLLARS!
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Sound your horn, Kosai, the Loonies are expecting you.
Loony Loony
We ain't payin'! Die, Yakuza delivery boy!
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Kill the crazies, Kosai!
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
The Loonies are crazy for Mary Jane's Ice Cream. Get an Ice-Cream Van so you can access the City Asylum - then we will teach this idiot gang a lesson.
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
You need $5,000 to rig the Ice-Cream Van with explosives.
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Good, you have enough dollars to arm the Ice-Cream Van. Get to it!
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Drive the Ice-Cream Van to the Loony Asylum. Once you get inside destroy their Happy Gas tanks.
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Arm the Ice-Cream Van bomb then escape the Asylum - fast.
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Super-fantastic, Kosai! The Loonies are lost without their Happy Gas. Have $40,000 for your hard work.

GET GAMA REI![edit]

East phone

Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Hi, Kosai, it's Johnny Zoo. Gama Rei has to leave the City Hospital - fast. He's in plastic surgery so you need a Medicar.

Kill a few people and wait until a Medicar arrives. Steal it.

Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Excellent, Kosai. Now collect Gama Rei from the City Hospital.
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Have patience, Kosai. Gama Rei only just got his new face.
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Gama Rei must be taken to the Safehouse before the Loonies dispatch Assassins. Move it!
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Gama Rei has stolen Loony secrets so they want him bad. Watch his ass, Kosai.
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Gama Rei is important to us, Kosai. We are most pleased by your performance. Here - have $40,000.

FOLLOW THAT TRAITOR![edit]

Previous phone

Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Hi, Kosai, it's Johnny Zoo. I think my top man is selling information to the Zaibatsu. I want you to tail him.

Slowly follow the traitor and make sure he doesn't see you. Stay about one screen away from him.

Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Excellent, you found the traitor's hideout. He must suffer the Yakuza way. Make contact with the ancient torture master, Refried Noodle.
Refried Noodle Refried Noodle
I am Refried Noodle. Here is a weapon - if you need it.
Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
The traitor and his men must die! Kill them all, Kosai!

The three are armed with S-Uzi Machine Guns. They can be killed most easily by running them over at speed.

Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
No one betrays the mighty Yakuza. Loyal assassins are the future, Kosai. As a reward I give you $40,000.

Red phone[edit]

SWAT VAN SWIPE![edit]

Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Hi, Kosai, it's Johnny Zoo. The authorities have impounded my favorite car and I want you to steal me a SWAT Van as compensation.

SWAT Vans are called at the fourth Wanted level.

Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Very cool, Kosai. Bring it to my garage.

Driving to the garage is easier if you have removed your Wanted level by driving a car through Max Paynt to respray or change license plates, or if you have found a Cop Bribe or created one by crushing a Cop Car. This may not be necessary if you start trouble as close as possible to the garage near the red phone.

Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
You steal well, Kosai. The Yakuza will have many jobs for someone with your talents. For now, $60,000 should see you right.

STOP THE TANK![edit]

Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Kosai! Johnny Zoo here! Military top brass are pissed with me and sending a Tank and Ground Troops to trash my exotic cars. I need your help.

A Rocket Launcher will spawn on the pavement at the bottom of the ramp up to the red phone, which you should take. Follow the marker to the north in a fast car. The Tank is flanked by six escorts armed with S-Uzi Machine Guns. Run them over, then exit your car and use the Rocket Launcher to destroy the Tank (it should take four shots).

Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Fantastic, Kosai! You are my first call if the Military strike. Here's $60,000.

ALL YAKUZA JOBS DONE![edit]

Johnny Zoo Johnny Zoo
Excellent! You have completed all the Yakuza jobs!