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Uno Carb Uno Carb
Welcome to the Zaibatsu!

The Zaibatsu hate the Krishna. Kill the Krishna to earn our respect!

Green phones[edit]

GRAND THEFT AUTO![edit]

North phone

Uno Carb Uno Carb
Hey, Gecko, it's me, Uno Carb. If you fancy causing some trouble, try stealing the Jefferson down at Krishna Krushers.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Success, Gecko! Now park the Jefferson at the Zaibatsu Power Cores.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
A Kovski Bulwark in the Russian area is waiting to make a drop. Smash and grab it, Gecko.
Kovski Kovski
You smashed my Bulwark! You die, Z-Boy!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Impressive, Gecko. Deliver the Bulwark and its cargo to the Zaibatsu Power Cores.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
There is an unmarked car containing two fine bitches near Mad Island. It's next on the shopping list for you, Gecko!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
The car is on the island near the Docks, Gecko. The only available access is via these rooftops.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Come to Daddy! Bring the car and the bitches to my Zaibatsu Power Core Safehouse.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
You are resourceful, Gecko, but the final vehicle will test your wits. The Cop Car I want is on a Trailer in Azeri Heights... So steal a Truck Cab!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Hook up the Cop Car Trailer, Gecko.

Cool, Gecko! Head for the Zaibatsu Power Core Crane and deposit your cargo.

Uno Carb Uno Carb
Park the Cop Car, Gecko, and we will mix business with pleasure tonight!

You deserve some fun on my Credex Gold Card, Gecko. For now, here's $40,000. Keep in touch - skilled operators are difficult to find.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT![edit]

South phone

Uno Carb Uno Carb
Hey, Gecko, it's Uno Carb. I need you to neutralize THREE Key Operatives from rival outfits. First you need to collect a Special Package...
Krishna Krishna
We are Krishna! You cannot enter here!
Krishna Krishna
That device is UNSAFE!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Excellent, Gecko, you have the Special Package. Be VERY careful - it is highly unstable.

Deliver the Special Package to Bilovski, the crazed Russian weapons pervert.

Bilovski Bilovski
Holy cow! Give me The Weapon and I will give you the Zaibatsu Entry Codes in a few days!

HA HA! Now I kill Uno Carb and all his silly little boys!

Bilovski Bilovski
It doesn't work! What is this SHIT?

My apologies, the trigger was stuck. Stand back!

Uno Carb Uno Carb
Success, Gecko! You need a Hot Dog Van to execute the second part of this job.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Good, Gecko. Now meet another Z-Operative - he has lethal merchandise for you.
Z-Operative Z-Operative
Hi, I was told to meet you. You stay right there while I load up the hot dogs!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
The target will be waiting for your Hot Dog Van, Gecko. Note that these hot dogs are poisoned...
Target Two Target Two
Ah, I have been expecting you! One hot dog, please. So... Do you have information for me?
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Make sure Target Two dies, Gecko!
Target Two Target Two
These hot dogs taste... different. AARRGGHH! POISON!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Very clean, Gecko. Now we have a Russian to dispose of... Meet your Z-Contact on the roof.
Z-Contact Z-Contact
I rigged a Kovski Limousine to be remote-controlled. Drive it into the Russian area.

The Kovski are looking for this Limousine - it was stolen only a few hours ago!

Uno Carb Uno Carb
The trap is set, Gecko. Lead the Russian Limousine into the Krishna quarter.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Don't move the Limousine, Gecko. Instead watch a perfectly executed Zaibatsu trap...

Super, Gecko! The Krishna take the blame for the Russian deaths and all Key Operatives are eliminated. Here's $40,000. Detonate the Limousine - we no longer need it.

Yellow phones[edit]

PAYBACK![edit]

West phone

Uno Carb Uno Carb
Hey, Gecko, it's Uno Carb. I'm selling LEGAL drugs on the black market for twice the price. If you want in on the deal, go meet Ziggy Pole.
Ziggy Pole Ziggy Pole
This is too obvious! Get a Kovski motor car and then we can do business.
Ziggy Pole Ziggy Pole
Bah. Tell Uno the Kovski want better play-drugs - like the new Mitsi.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
The next guy is fast moving up the Zaibatsu ranks. He should pose no problems, Gecko!
Zaibatsu Zaibatsu
Hi, you must be Gecko. Want a Mitsi? No? Well you'd better get this cash back to Uno.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Keep moving, Gecko. A high-ranking Kovski is the next dealer and he might prove difficult.
Kovski Kovski
I have no money for Zaibatsu punks! Tell Uno Carb to go screw himself!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Kill the Kovski cash-dodger and his pathetic little gang, Gecko.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
The last dealer's a real loose cannon - so be cool, Gecko.
Dealer Dealer
Look, man, I'm being tailed. I can't talk. My mute handler will pass you the green.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
A successful job, Gecko. The Kovski scum annoy me but you dealt with them professionally.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Excellent, Gecko, you got the money. Now zoom down to the Brown-Eye Sewage Works and steal a Kovski Truck by way of payment.

The Kovski Truck contains contraband reactor fuel that we could utilize. Steal the Truck to teach the Russians a lesson.

Uno Carb Uno Carb
The front door is secure. Find a way in around the back and then destroy the old Soviet Generators on the inside to open the entrance.
Russian Russian
The Z-Man will soon be D-Man... D for Dead! HA HA HA!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Excellent, the entrance is open. Bring the contraband Truck to me NOW, Gecko!

Drive careful to the Zaibatsu Safehouse. Remember - this Trailer is loaded, Gecko!

Uno Carb Uno Carb
You were Super Zaibatsu on this job, Gecko! Here's $20,000 on top of the $40,000 I owe you. Take a break - but keep in touch.

LOCK-OUT![edit]

East phone

Uno Carb Uno Carb
Gecko - it's Uno Carb. The Russians have taken a Truck full of Zaibatsu AI Brain Units. Steal the whole lot back from the Tedium Docks.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
As expected the entrance is locked, Gecko. Try the back door!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
My intelligence was poor - the back door is also locked. I will program Satchmo The Safecracker to meet you. Get moving!
Satchmo The Safecracker Satchmo The Safecracker
Show me the lock, Z-Man, and let my fingers do their magic.
Satchmo The Safecracker Satchmo The Safecracker
I hear a clock! Stand back in case the door's booby-trapped.

These fingers can do anything, sonny. No-one booby-traps Satchmo!

Satchmo The Safecracker Satchmo The Safecracker
Ssh! I can hear a clock - and it's definitely getting louder!

Shit. The clock sto...

Uno Carb Uno Carb
Satchmo was getting old anyway. Now steal a Kovski Bulwark and try to enter using Zaibatsu stealth!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Good initiative, Gecko. Drive to the door and deceive the foolish Kovski.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Excellent, you are inside, Gecko. Now steal back my AI Brain Unit Truck.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
In the Truck at last, Gecko! Now get back to the Safehouse.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
The paranoid Kovski lock everything, Gecko! Take out the Generators above the door to make it open.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
One Generator down, Gecko. Now blow the second one!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Great work, Gecko. The door should be open now so get in the Truck and DRIVE. Watch your back!

The door is OPEN! Get my AI Brain Units to the Safehouse - FAST!

Kovski Kovski
THE KOVSKI WILL HAVE REVENGE!
Kovski Kovski
I SCREW YOU, ZAIBATSU!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Exemplary, Gecko. My Z-Operatives are all sporting shiny new AI Brain Units and the Zaibatsu are once again on top. Here's $60,000. Keep in touch.

GANG WAR![edit]

Previous phone

Uno Carb Uno Carb
Gecko - it's Uno Carb. Krishna conversion and Kovski black markets are crippling Zaibatsu enterprise. We need a gang war. You steal a Bulwark and I will give you a plan.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Good. Now drive to the Krishna quarter and run down some little orange people.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
CRUSH THE KRISHNA!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Excellent, Gecko! At least FIFTY Krishna nailed! Now steal a Krishna Bus and drive to the Russian area.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
You got the Krishna Bus, Gecko. Now make haste to the Russian area and execute FIFTY Kovski.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
DRIVE DOWN THE KOVSKI!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Great work, Gecko! At least FIFTY Kovski dead and a full-blown gang war about to explode!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Wonderful! The Krishna and Kovski are at each other's throats and Zaibatsu sales are through the roof. Your $60,000 is well deserved. We must work together again, Gecko.

Red phone[edit]

I'D LIKE A TANK PLEASE, BOB![edit]

Uno Carb Uno Carb
Gecko - it's Uno Carb. The City Security Services are getting too big for their boots so we need to show them the Zaibatsu still mean business. Bring me a SWAT Van.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Super, Gecko! Deliver the SWAT Van to my Garage!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Next we need a Special Agent Car. Go, Gecko - GO!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
You have Zaibatsu style, Gecko. Deliver this vehicle to my Garage.
Uno Carb Uno Carb
Excellent. Gecko, you are the only Operative I know with the balls to steal a Tank. What are you waiting for?
Uno Carb Uno Carb
You have excelled yourself, Gecko. Park this Bad Boy in my Garage!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
That little demonstration of power has wiped the smug smiles from the faces of the Security Forces. Here's $80,000 for a job well done.

ARMY BASE ALERT![edit]

Uno Carb Uno Carb
Gecko - it's Uno Carb. The last Tank you stole was booby-trapped and destroyed my Garage. Steal me another Tank direct from the Army Base to cause maximum embarrassment.

The Army Base is heavily guarded. Use a little initiative to get in!

Uno Carb Uno Carb
Move fast, Gecko! Bring the Tank back to my Garage!
Uno Carb Uno Carb
The Army doesn't know what hit them, Gecko. You are a supreme performer! Here's $80,000. You should be working with me not for me!

ALL ZAIBATSU JOBS DONE![edit]

Uno Carb Uno Carb
Congratulations, Gecko! You have succeeded in completing ALL the Zaibatsu jobs!