Stupid Invaders/The Abandoned House

Etno: My friends I have good news! The ship is finally repaired. We'll be ready for lift off in five minutes! Gorgious: About time, I'm sick and tired of hiding out in the attic of this crappy house! Etno: Come on come on, pack your bags! We're going home to our planet. Candy: Wowwwww...we're going home and I can finally make an appointment with Professor Helmut! Gorgious: Oh yeah...Professor Helmut! I can't believe that there are still pinheads like you who will go see that two bit astrologer good for nothin' quack hillbilly medicine man! Candy: Professor Helmut is the greatest sex change specialist in the universe! Bud: I'm gonna go get the TV. Gorgious: What is that smell there must be some kind of foul human nearby... Etno: We must leave immediately! If there's a human in the house we're all in grave danger... Bolok: Danger of instant death. Etno: Why do you say that? Bud: Hey guys, you'll never believe what I just saw on TV. Bolok: You are going to die and you are going to scream while you die, and then you will be dead.

Part 1 (Bud)

Once the cursor has appeared on the screen, you shall have to make Bud walk left to the toilet; once you have done so, you will have to make him walk forward into the toilet area. You can then make Bud use the toilet if you want - and after he's done so, he will say "Whew I'm never eating at Chili John's again!". However, regardless of whether you made Bud use the toilet or not, you'll now have to make him take the plunger; once you have done so, you shall have to make him take a roll of Candy's toilet paper (and before he does so he'll say "It smells like sunkissed dew drops on strawberry leaves, just perfect for Candy's sweet little bum!"). You will then have to make Bud take the bottle of Drain Eugh - and after he has done so, he will say "Coool! This may come in handy.". You can now make Bud examine the packs of Candy's "Sweet Windy Kiss" and Gorgious's "G.I. Asswipe" toilet paper if you wish; as he's doing so, he will say "This pretty paper with the flowers on it, must be Candy's." and "Wowww...Gorgious's heavy duty steel reinforced industrial ass wipe." respectively. But regardless of whether you made Bud examine these packs or not, you shall now have to make him take a roll of Gorgious's toilet paper (and before he does so, he will say "This stuff is bullet proof!") - and you will then have to make him walk back, open the inventory, combine the plunger with the roll of Gorgious's toilet paper and use it on the window. Bud shall spit on the plunger's sucker and throw it at the wall, where it shall stick; you will then have to make him climb up the roll of Gorgious's toilet paper and out of the window, from where he will emerge on a ledge and climb up a ladder to the roof. A voice will now say "Helllllllpppp me little children..." from the chimney - and, once you have made Bud examine it, you will see the eyes of a man who is trapped inside it. You'll then have to make Bud talk to the man in the chimney; first, you shall have to choose the option ("Hey what's going on down there?") to which the man shall reply "It just so happens that I'm Santa Claus and I'm eight months late delivering presents for all the little children...", then "Man I'm hungry, I think I'll go get some peanuts." to which Santa will reply "No little kiddie, don't do that, don't leave Santa all alone in the chimney...Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree...". You now have to open the inventory and use the bottle of Drain Eugh on the chimney - and Bud will drain the bottle into the chimney, as green smoke emerges from it and Santa says "What the hell is happening??...What the? Is it raining? Ha ha ha...Wo...Woooaa...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!". You will now have to make Bud drop down the chimney himself (he will come out in the cellar).

Once Bud has landed, you can make him talk to the vaporised Santa if you want (he will say: "Thank you little boy for saving me and ruining Christmas for everyone else."); regardless of whether you did this or not, you will now have to make Bud take the can of sulphuric acid (and before he does so, he shall say "Oh a can of sulphuric acid. Man this stuff should do the trick."). You shall then have to make Bud walk to the shelves at the back of the room, take the funnel and claw, and walk back - and once you have done so, you will have to make him walk down to a coffin, open the inventory and use the claw on the coffin. Bud shall pry open the coffin with the claw, revealing a zombie holding a key; you will then have to open the inventory again and use the funnel on the zombie. Bud shall stick the funnel in the zombie's mouth - and you'll now have to open the inventory once again and use the sulphuric acid on the funnel. Bud will drain the can into the funnel as the zombie wakes up, throws the funnel away, and melts; he will then automatically take the key. You shall now have to make Bud walk back to the shelves, and up some stairs, then climb up a ladder to a padlocked pair of doors - and once you have done so, you'll have to open the inventory yet again and use the key on the padlock. Bud will insert the key into the padlock and unlock the doors.

Once Bud has walked into the basement, you will have to make him take a mouse trap (and before he does so, he will say "Wow I'd hate to see all the cheese that mouse eats."); you will then have to make him walk down to the front of some more stairs, open the inventory, and use the mouse trap on that spot. Bud will place the mouse trap on the ground - and you will then have to make him walk back and press a switch. Bolok will open the door at the top of the second flight of stairs, walk down it and get caught in the mouse trap; you will now have to make Bud walk back to the front of the stairs and up them to the hall. You can now make Bud answer the telephone if you want (when he says "Helllloooooo...?" the caller at the other end will say "What are you wearing?" to which Bud shall reply "Oh you must be calling for Candy.") - but regardless of whether you made him do it or not, you will now have to make him walk up and through a blue door to the kitchen. You'll then have to make Bud walk down to the fridge (you can also make him take a snack from it if you want), and left to the sink; once you've done so, you'll have to make him open a drawer to reveal a lighter, take said lighter, then walk back out of the kitchen to the hall. You then have to make Bud walk up through a brown door into the garage - and if you make him pull the chest out from under the shelves and click the balloon on the top shelf, he will climb onto the chest to blow it up (and once he has done it, he will say "Great my inflatable boob!", let it go and get off the chest again). But regardless of whether you made Bud do this or not you'll now have to make him walk down and right, and take a rocket (before he does so, he will say "Ah...Rockets for Stereo's barbecue."); once you've done so, you shall have to make Bud walk back to the telephone's part of the hall, then walk down and through the first of two more blue doors (on the left) to his own bedroom.

If you make Bud open the wardrobe at this point (momentarily stopping the malfunctioning grandfather clock), it reveals a purple bear who will hit him over the head with a mallet four times; regardless of whether you made him do that or not, you will then have to make him walk down to the fireplace, open the inventory and use the rocket on the fireplace. Bud will place the rocket on the fireplace and say "Maybe I should light it now..." - and you will then have to open the inventory again and use the lighter on the rocket's wick. Bud will light the wick with the lighter, and the rocket will fly up through the chimney (taking a nesting stork with it) before exploding; also, if you make Bud walk up to Candy's pet plant (whom he named "Charlie"), he shall chew him up and spit him out, but it will not result in a game-over. You will now have to make Bud walk back to the telephone's part of the hall again, then up a third flight of stairs to the landing, to the right past an opened red curtain, and to the right again through a fourth blue door to the bathroom.

You shall then have to make Bud open the washing machine to reveal a pink heart-shaped key, take the key, and walk back to the landing; once you have done so you shall have to make him walk to the left, and to the left again through a fifth blue door into Candy's room (as he closes the door, the painting of Candy disguised as a woman to its right will fall down and smash on the floor). You will then have to make Bud walk to the right, open the wardrobe to reveal a pair of Candy's pantyhose, and take them - and once you have done so, you will have to make him walk to the left, open up the inventory and use the key on the dresser drawer. Bud will open the drawer to reveal a hairdryer and say "This is exactly what I need."; you shall now have to make him take said hairdryer, walk back to the landing, up a fourth flight of stairs to the attic, left twice, up through another brown door into a darker part of the attic, down, and left. At this point, you have to move the cursor, until the word "SWITCH" appears at the bottom of the screen - and once you've clicked the "switch" in question, Bud will turn on a standard lamp. You will then have to make Bud close the chest, climb onto it, take the crank from the top shelf, drop back down to the floor, walk back right and up to the window, open the inventory, and use the crank on the hole in that window's frame; Bud will insert the crank into the hole and turn it, opening the window. You will then have to make Bud climb out of the window, from where he'll emerge on another ledge, and walk along it until he comes to a plank - and once you have made him take it, you will have to use it on the cornice, make him walk across it, climb back up the ladder to the roof and drop down the chimney (this time he will come out in the spaceship room).

Once Bud has landed, you'll have to open the inventory and use Candy's pantyhose on the cupboard; Bud shall lasso the cupboard with the pantyhose and throw their other end over the balcony. You'll then have to make Bud climb back up the ladder to the roof, walk all the way back to the kitchen, and go through a lilac door to the backyard (as he closes the door, a rabbit who was dry-humping a garden gnome will flee the scene) - and once you have done so, you will have to make him tie the pantyhose to the lawnmower, and switch it on (Bud will pull its cord three times and it will take off across the yard, while the cupboard gets pulled off the spaceship room's balcony by the pantyhose and smashed on the ground, and Bolok, who had been hiding inside the cupboard after escaping from the mouse trap, shall fire a freeze ray at the lawnmower on seeing it coming towards him, but it lands on him).

You'll then have to make Bud walk back up to the attic, through a sixth blue door into the TV room (which contains another malfunctioning grandfather clock), down and to the left; once you have done so, you shall have to make him take the extension cord from the back of the TV and walk back to the right, through a red door, down and through a smashed metal door into the spaceship room (where he will find his frozen friends, and if you make him look at the ice cube they're trapped in, he'll say "Hey guys, don't move, ol' Bud's gonna get you out of there right away."). You'll then have to open the inventory and use the extension cord on the socket - and once you've done so, you will have to open the inventory again and use the hairdryer on the extension cord (Bud shall plug in the extension cord and switch on the hairdryer, thawing out his friends as they are returned to their original colours).

Part 2 (Etno)

Candy: My brand new Talvin Slime panty hose! Etno: Way to go Bud, for once you put that insignificant dried up raisin of a brain to good use! Gorgious: Did some one say raisin? I'm starvin'! Candy: Bud is no dummy, he just got sunstroke when he was going through puberty... Stereo: That's got nothing to do with puberty. Have you read your Freud? Which came first, the snail or the stupid idiot with the garlic butter? In any case Freud says yes! Etno: Listen, I forgot my life's work the thirteen volume dissertation on human beings and their behaviour, that I spent years writing. It's very important and essential to the future of our planet. Candy, warm up the spaceship, I'll be right back. Quick, I must get my research.

Once the cursor has reappeared upon the screen, you can make Etno look at the toilet if you want (after he has done so, he shall say "Well, not exactly perfected...Anyway, gotta find my papers."); regardless of whether you made him do this or not, you will then have to make him walk to the right into his laboratory, right again, and up. Once you have clicked on the suitcase, Etno will press the red button on top of it and it will transform into the SMTV (the electric-chair-like device the aliens used to transform themselves in the show) - and you shall then have to make him take the battery, and walk back to the centre of the laboratory and to the left (if you make him pull the levers of the generator here, its cogs will spin around and he will say "This invention is obsolete now."). You'll now have to open the inventory and use the battery on the socket (Etno shall plug the battery into the socket to charge it, then unplug it again); once you have done so, you shall have to walk down to the computer and talk to it. Etno will start the conversation with "Good morning my electric computer friend...I need to get into the safe to get something very important..." to which the computer will reply "Hello Etno, how are you my dear friend? Were you able to get the phone number of the famous Maurice for me like I asked?" - and you'll then have to choose the following options:

Etno: Who in Zebra's name is Maurice? Computer: Maurice? The famous Maurice? Haha Maurice... Boy what I'd give to see the famous Maurice... Etno: Lovely day for a game of cricket isn't it? Computer: Don't avoid the issue my friend, I know that you didn't come here to talk about cricket did you? Etno: OK it's true, I'm not here to talk about cricket, I'm here to collect my dissertation papers. Computer: I thought so...If you have come for your life's work that must mean that the spaceship is ready. How nice of you to come and get me for the big trip. Etno: I'm terribly sorry but there isn't enough room for you... Computer: You lied to me...I was supposed to go with you...If I can't go with you I'd rather just disappear completely than to stay on this planet... And I won't even have met the famous Maurice... Etno: But of course you will come with us...We would never leave without you! Computer: But didn't you say that there were only five seats on the ship? I don't understand, you tell me that I am coming with you but that there isn't any room for me... Etno: But of course there is...there's plenty of space for you if I load your memory onto a disk...a disk doesn't take up any room at all... Computer: A disk? But my memory represents the equivalent of one hundred and forty million disks and according to my calculations, the ship's trunk will only hold 38...Only enough room for my "Polish in three lessons". Etno: I'm going to make two trips...drop the others off and then I'll come back for you... Computer: Listen my dear friend, I don't need to tell you that this planet is a dangerous place: rampant pollution, holes in the ozone, people honking when they're stuck behind garbage trucks... This planet is bound to disappear sooner than later.

You now have to make Etno walk back to the SMTV, open the inventory again and use the now-charged battery on the SMTV (Etno will plug the battery into the SMTV to switch it on, sit on its seat, then pull its lever to transform himself into a purple rat wearing yellow shorts, who is "the famous Maurice"):

Computer: Maurice is that you? Unbelieveable! I had given up all hope of meeting you! Transformed Etno: Yes it's me, the famous Maurice. I need to get something very important out of the safe!... Computer: You can ask me for anything you want Maurice! But first, I would just love it if you would do your famous "dentist bit". Transformed Etno: Ahhhh...the dentist bit? Oh yeah... well it's the story of a dentist who invites a monkey to his wedding... So the monkey goes up to the mother in law and says: "is that you or am I looking at myself eating bananas with my butt in a rearview mirror!". Computer: Yesssss, your orders are my commands!

The safe shall then open as Etno returns to his original form; you will then have to make him walk back to the centre of the laboratory again and into the safe, and take the encyclopedia (he will open it to reveal a fruit enlarger). Once you have done so, you will have to make Etno walk back out of the safe.