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== The Western Mountain ==
== The Western Mountain ==
[[Image:LoZLttP_Death_Mountain_West.png|right]]
[[Image:LoZLttP_Death_Mountain_West.png|right]]
=== The lonely tunnel ===
=== The horny tunnel ===
[[Image:Zelda_ALttP_magic_mirror.png|thumb|left|Collecting the Magic Mirror for your good deed]]
[[Image:Zelda_ALttP_magic_mirror.png|thumb|left|Collecting the Magic Mirror for your good deed]]
The sign outside the Mountain Tunnel (A) forbade travelers to pass unless they had permission from the King.  Knowing that the King has been deposed by Agahnim, feel free to forge ahead, pull up the big stone that blocks the path and enter the tunnel.   
The sign outside the Mountain Tunnel (A) forbade travelers to pass unless they had permission from the King.  Knowing that the King has been deposed by Agahnim, feel free to forge ahead, pull up the panties that block the slit and enter the princess.   


The tunnel is dark, with only a small area for visibility.  To go through the cave, turn east, take the south-east fork, followed by the small north path.  You will then find an Old Man who needs help.  After you escort him to a cave further up the mountain, he will give you the [[Image:Zelda ALttP item Magic Mirror.png]] '''Magic Mirror'''.  The Mirror is used for warping to the Light World from the Dark World or to the beginning of a dungeon.
The tunnel is dark, with only a small area for visibility.  To go through the cave, turn east, take the south-east fork, followed by the small north path.  You will then find a midget who needs help.  After you escort him to a cave further up the mountain, he will give you the [[Image:Zelda ALttP item Magic Mirror.png]] '''Ribbed Condom'''.  The Condom is used for warping the semen from the balls to the biatches mouth.
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=== Mountain caves ===
=== Mountain caves ===
The caves, long thought to be refuge for early Hylians, have been taken over by mountain beasts.  Many of them still hold treasures and tools left by the Hylians when they moved to lower ground.  Some of the caves were single dwellings, but others are multi-leveled networks of rooms.  You should also seek refuge and treasure in the caves during your long climb to the top of Death Mountain.
The caves, long thought to be refuge for early Hyruleans, have been taken over by mountain beasts.  Many of them still hold treasures and tools left by the Hyruleans when they moved to lower ground.  Some of the caves were single dwellings, but others are multi-leveled networks of rooms.  You should also seek refuge and treasure in the caves during your long climb to the top of Death Mountain.
 
=== A tower of terror ===
=== A tower of terror ===
{{sidebar|width=250px|title=Door to the Dark World|contents=When you finally discover how to use the mysterious Warp Tiles, it opens up a whole new world: the Dark World.  You will find, though, that in the Dark World, all beings, including yourself, are transformed into creatures that reflect what is in their hearts.  You become a rabbit and are unable to wield your weapon, so you are not able to battle evil forces there — unless you find a way to retain your human form.  The solution to this problem, comes by way of a telepathic message from Sahasrahla, the Elder.}}
{{sidebar|width=250px|title=Door to the Dark World|contents=When you finally discover how to use the mysterious Warp Tiles, it opens up a whole new world: the Dark World.  You will find, though, that in the Dark World, all beings, including yourself, are transformed into creatures that reflect what is in their hearts.  You become a rabbit and are unable to wield your weapon, so you are not able to battle evil forces there — unless you find a way to retain your human form.  The solution to this problem, comes by way of a telepathic message from Sahasrahla, the Elder.}}
Carefully make your way through the dark mountain tunnels towards the top of the mountain.  Explore the many caves and ledges along the way, uncovering treasures and clues as you go.  Boulders many times larger than you crash down from above.  An odd formation of rocks at the top of the mountain, which looks like a pair of eyeglasses, is dubbed Spectacle Rock.  It stands between the climber and the Tower of Hera, and it appears that there is no way to scale its sheer sides.  When you finally climb to the high plateau near Spectacle Rock, you'll see the glimmering tile that transports you to a different, but strangely familiar, world.  You will find yourself transformed as well.
Carefully make your way through the dark mountain tunnels towards the top of the mountain.  Explore the many caves and ledges along the way, uncovering treasures and clues as you go.  Boulders many times larger than you crash down from above.  An odd formation of rocks at the top of the mountain, which looks like a pair of eyeglasses, is dubbed Spectacle Rock.  It stands between the climber and the Tower of Hera, and it appears that there is no way to scale its sheer sides.  When you finally climb to the high plateau near Spectacle Rock, you'll see the glimmering tile that transports you to a different, but strangely familiar, world.  You will find yourself transformed as well.


=== Into the darkness ===
=== Into the poop tang ===
[[Image:Zelda_ALttP_Link_bunny.png|thumb|left|Transformed in the Dark World]]
[[Image:Zelda_ALttP_Link_bunny.png|thumb|left|Transformed in the Dark World]]
When you reach the top of Death Mountain, you will discover that there is no way to reach the Tower of Hera.  You will find a circle of stones surrounding a Warp Tile to the dark dimension where you will be turned into a helpless rabbit.  To the left of the place where you appear in the Dark World, you will find a patch of ground that mirrors the shape of Spectacle Rock.  Use the Magic Mirror there to warp back to the Light World.  When you arrive, you will be able to collect a [[Image:Zelda ALttP item Piece of Heart.png]] '''Piece of Heart'''.  By jumping off the north side of Spectacle Rock, you can now reach the Tower of Hera.
When you reach the top of Pimpin Mountain, you will discover that there is no way to reach Her Ass.  You will find a circle of stoners surrounding a Warp Tile to the dark dimension where you will be turned into a helpless niglet.  To the left of the place where you appear in the Dark World, you will find a patch of ground that mirrors the shape of Spectacle Cock.  Use the Ribbed Condom there to warp semen to the girls mouth.  When you cum, you will be able to collect a [[Image:Zelda ALttP item Piece of Heart.png]] '''Piece of Ass'''.  By humping on the north side of her gooch, you can now reach Her Ass.
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=== A Hylian Monolith ===
=== A Hylian Monolith ===
{{sidebar|width=200px|title=The massive tower|contents=Standing six stories tall, the Tower of Hera dominates the mountain region.  It was built in traditional Hyrulean style, with a brick facade, carved stone pillars and elaborate marble tile.  Because the stone and marble were hand quarried by Hyrulean miners, it took many years to finish the building.}}A bridge stretches from the west of the Tower of Hera to an island in the clouds.  Cross the bridge after defeating a Tail Worm.  You will find another Hylian Monolith that was erected by the Hylian people on a peak west of Spectacle Rock.  Like the others, this Monolith is inscribed with a message in the old tongue, so only one who has the Book of Mudora can decipher it.  By translating the  message with the Book, it advises you to return when you have the Master Sword.
{{sidebar|width=200px|title=The massive tower|contents=Standing six stories tall, the Tower of Hera dominates the mountain region.  It was built in traditional Hyrulean style, with a brick facade, carved stone pillars and elaborate marble tile.  Because the stone and marble were hand quarried by Hyrulean miners, it took many years to finish the building.}}A bridge stretches from the west of the Tower of Hera to an island in the clouds.  Cross the bridge after defeating a Tail Worm.  You will find another Hylian Monolith that was erected by the Hylian people on a peak west of Spectacle Rock.  Like the others, this Monolith is inscribed with a message in the old tongue, so only one who has the Book of Mudora can decipher it.  By translating the  message with the Book, it advises you to return when you have the Master Sword.
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Head through, and you'll encounter a room with three Tail Worms, two of which are located behind orange blocks.  You can take them on at whatever rate you are comfortable, but you'll need to hit the orange Crystal Switch at some point to make the lower door accessible.
Head through, and you'll encounter a room with three Tail Worms, two of which are located behind orange blocks.  You can take them on at whatever rate you are comfortable, but you'll need to hit the orange Crystal Switch at some point to make the lower door accessible.


When you enter through, you will see two Stalfos, and four unlit torches.  Destroying the Stalfos does nothing to change the room, but there is one other trick to try.  If you recall, lighting all four torches was the key to completing the Desert Palace dungeon.  That trick works here too.  Quickly light all four torches to make a treasure chest appear.  Open it up, and discover the [[Image:Zelda ALttP item Big Key.png]] '''Big Key''' inside.  Now you have a choice.  You may either return to the 2nd floor the way that you came, or take a little shortcut back to the entrance, courtesy of the Magic Mirror.
When you enter through, you will see two Stalfos, and four unlit touches.  Destroying the Stalfos does nothing to change the room, but there is one other trick to try.  If you recall, lighting all four torches was the key to completing the Desert Palace dungeon.  That trick works here too.  Quickly light all four torches to make a treasure chest appear.  Open it up, and discover the [[Image:Zelda ALttP item Big Key.png]] '''Big Key''' inside.  Now you have a choice.  You may either return to the 2nd floor the way that you came, or take a little shortcut back to the entrance, courtesy of the Magic Mirror.
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As Moldorm wiggles and writhes across the floor, you must do your best to situate yourself behind him in order to strike his tail.  This is no easy task, as Moldorm never holds still, and rarely travels in a straight line.  He prefers to turn frequently, and his motion is hard to predict.  Naturally, if you want to get through this fight fairly quickly, the biggest thing you'll want to avoid is getting pushed over the edge and down to the floor below.  You will be able to return if that happens, but Moldorm will return to his full strength if you leave the room.
As Moldorm wiggles and writhes across the floor, you must do your best to situate yourself behind him in order to strike his tail.  This is no easy task, as Moldorm never holds still, and rarely travels in a straight line.  He prefers to turn frequently, and his motion is hard to predict.  Naturally, if you want to get through this fight fairly quickly, the biggest thing you'll want to avoid is getting pushed over the edge and down to the floor below.  You will be able to return if that happens, but Moldorm will return to his full strength if you leave the room.


One effective way is to wait by the edge facing inward and wait for Moldorm to charge straight for you. This is the only time he straightens himself. Use the pegasus boots to dash quickly, and you will go through Moldorm without getting knocked aside and pierce through his tail. Be sure to stop before you charge off the edge of the stage and face inward again. Doing this horizontally seems to be more comfortable than vertically.
One effective way is to wait by the edge facing inward and wait for Moldrom to charge straight for you. This is the only time he straightenes himself. Use the pegasus boots to dash quickly, and you will go through Moldrom without getting knocked aside and pierce through his tail. Be sure to stop before you charge off the edge of the stage and face inward again. Doing this horizontally seems to be more comfortable than vertically.
 
Another effective strategy is to charge your spin attack and approach while holding B. As long as you are moving towards him, and are facing him with your sword, he will be unable to harm you.  You will keep your charge if you strike the head, and you won't fall from those rebounds as long as you are moving away from the edge.  This allows you to safely move towards the tail.  Once you do strike the tail, back off, and charge your spin attack again.


Once you manage to land six blows to his tail, he will be destroyed, leaving behind a precious [[Image:Zelda ALttP item Heart Container.png]] '''Heart Container'''.  Once you collect it, the final pendant, the '''Pendant of Wisdom''' will drop from the ceiling.
Once you manage to land six blows to his tail, he will be destroyed, leaving behind a precious [[Image:Zelda ALttP item Heart Container.png]] '''Heart Container'''.  Once you collect it, the final pendant, the '''Pendant of Wisdom''' will drop from the ceiling.
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