Theme Hospital/Diseases: Difference between revisions
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explain the need for a ward
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|A heavy mixture of special watery atoms is drunk rapidly in the Pharmacy | |A heavy mixture of special watery atoms is drunk rapidly in the Pharmacy | ||
|- | |- | ||
!Chronic | !Chronic Nosehair | ||
|Sniffing disdainfully at those worse off than the patient | |Sniffing disdainfully at those worse off than the patient | ||
|Nosebeard a badger could make a nest in | |Nosebeard a badger could make a nest in | ||
|A disgusting hair-removal potion is taken orally, prepared by a Nurse in the Pharmacy | |A disgusting hair-removal potion is taken orally, prepared by a Nurse in the Pharmacy | ||
|- | |- | ||
!Corrugated | !Corrugated Ankles | ||
|Driving over traffic calming measures in road | |Driving over traffic calming measures in road | ||
|Footwear does not fit snugly | |Footwear does not fit snugly | ||
|A slightly toxic blend of herbs and spices is drunk to straighten out the ankles | |A slightly toxic blend of herbs and spices is drunk to straighten out the ankles | ||
|- | |- | ||
!Discrete Itching | !Discrete Itching | ||
|Tiny insects with sharp teeth | |Tiny insects with sharp teeth | ||
|Scratching, leading to body-part inflammation | |Scratching, leading to body-part inflammation | ||
|Patient drinks a pharmaceutical gluey syrup to prevent the skin from itching | |Patient drinks a pharmaceutical gluey syrup to prevent the skin from itching | ||
|- | |- | ||
!Gastric | !Gastric Ejections | ||
|Spicy Mexican or Indian food | |Spicy Mexican or Indian food | ||
|Half-digested food is emitted from the patient in random clusters | |Half-digested food is emitted from the patient in random clusters | ||
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|A Nurse can administer a selection of dissolved chemicals to coat the tum | |A Nurse can administer a selection of dissolved chemicals to coat the tum | ||
|- | |- | ||
!Heaped | !Heaped Piles | ||
|Standing around by water coolers | |Standing around by water coolers | ||
|Patient feels like he/she is sitting on a bag of marbles | |Patient feels like he/she is sitting on a bag of marbles | ||
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|A high dosage of powerful stimulant is administered by a Nurse | |A high dosage of powerful stimulant is administered by a Nurse | ||
|- | |- | ||
!The | !The Squits | ||
|Eating pizza found under the cooker | |Eating pizza found under the cooker | ||
|Ugh. Surely you can guess | |Ugh. Surely you can guess | ||
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|Licking the yogurt from the foil tops of opened pots | |Licking the yogurt from the foil tops of opened pots | ||
|Flesh is rendered see-through and horrible | |Flesh is rendered see-through and horrible | ||
|A Pharmacy drink of specially cooled and coloured water cures this disease | |A Pharmacy drink of specially cooled and coloured water cures this disease. Strangely enough it's the most '''deadly''' disease in the pharmacy. | ||
|- | |- | ||
! | !Uncommon Cold | ||
|Small particles of snot in the air | |Small particles of snot in the air | ||
|Runny nose, sneezing and discoloured lungs | |Runny nose, sneezing and discoloured lungs | ||
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|- | |- | ||
!3rd Degree Sideburns | !3rd Degree Sideburns | ||
|Wistful longing for the | |Wistful longing for the 1970's | ||
|Big hair, flares, platforms and glitter make-up | |Big hair, flares, platforms and glitter make-up | ||
|The Psychiatry staff must, using up-to-date techniques, convince the patient that these hairy accoutrements are rubbish | |The Psychiatry staff must, using up-to-date techniques, convince the patient that these hairy accoutrements are rubbish | ||
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|The swollen head is popped, then reinflated to the correct PSI using a clever machine | |The swollen head is popped, then reinflated to the correct PSI using a clever machine | ||
|- | |- | ||
!Fractured Bones | !Fractured Bones (requires 1 nurse to operate) | ||
|Falling off high things onto concrete | |Falling off high things onto concrete | ||
|Loud crack and inability to use afflicted limbs | |Loud crack and inability to use afflicted limbs | ||
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==Surgical== | ==Surgical== | ||
The [[Theme Hospital/Rooms#Operating Theater|Operating Theater]] requires two [[Theme Hospital/Staff#Doctor|Doctors]] with surgical qualifications. | The [[Theme Hospital/Rooms#Operating Theater|Operating Theater]] requires two [[Theme Hospital/Staff#Doctor|Doctors]] with surgical qualifications. A Ward is also required to prepare the patient for surgery. | ||
{| {{prettytable}} | {| {{prettytable}} | ||
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|Bungee jumping in cold weather | |Bungee jumping in cold weather | ||
|Inability to sit down in comfort | |Inability to sit down in comfort | ||
|Two qualified Surgeons must | |Two qualified Surgeons must remove the nodules using steady hands | ||
|- | |- | ||
!Spare Ribs | !Spare Ribs | ||
