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The Evil Summoner FAQ v1.0
"How to Be a Cheap Ass"
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By Mochan <mosquiton@crosswinds.net>
created May 28, 2001
last modified May 28, 2001
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cheap adj(1509) 1: at minimum expense
2: gained with little effort
3: obtainable at a low rate of interest
4: STINGY
ass (bef. 12c) 1: any of several hardy gregarious mammals (genus Equus)
that are smaller than the horse and have long ears
2: a stupid, obstinate, or perverse person
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DISCLAIMER
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This FAQ was written with the PC version of the game. Any discrepancies with
the PS2 should be excused. Best read with a 79-width text viewer with a
fixed-size font. This FAQ has no spoilers in the tactical section
(How to Be a Cheap Ass) but it does have spoilers in the omake section
at the end.
This FAQ will likely not be updated because I am lazy. Besides, this
particular FAQ isn't something I want to spend too much effort on.
I have included my e-mail address in the header up there. If you want to
write me anything be sure to include this tag in the subject:
[SUMMONER FAQ]
Actually, though, I'd prefer if you don't write me anything because
I'm betting I won't like whatever you'll have to say. ^____^
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1. Why this FAQ was written (or, "Why I hate Summoner and so should you")
-------------------------
Let me state this from the start, so that you don't get the wrong idea.
This "Evil Summoner FAQ" is not like a "Fallout Evil FAQ" or a "Black
and White Evil FAQ." It will not tell you how to play the game in the
"evil way" because it is impossible to do so in Summoner. Being
totally linear in plot, Summoner can only be played the "good way."
So why call it the "Evil Summoner FAQ?"
Most people write FAQs for games they love and worship and adore
above all else. However, being unlike everyone else, I have taken it
upon myself to write this FAQ with the sole intention of utterly
trashing Summoner because I totally hate the game. And therein is
the answer: this FAQ is "evil" because it is based on hate, hate for
the piece of trash called "Summoner!"
Summoner is one of those rare games that gets practically nothing
right, and because of this it deserves to be soundly bashed, ripped,
slashed, broken and consigned to oblivion. However, no matter what you
think of the game, you cannot deny that Summoner did get ONE thing
right: the time of its release!
On the PC there was no other RPG out at the moment of its release, so
Summoner will likely be bought and played by default. Even now, some
months after its release, Arcanum has been bumped off to a September
release, Blade Masters seems to have turned into vaporware, Anachronox
is nowhere in sight, it will be a miracle if Morrowind is released any
time soon. You get the point. Likely, as of now you will have no RPG
to play on the PC except for this.
PS2 players probably have it better, too bad I don't have a PS2. ^^;
So, in anticipation of this sore trial my fellow gamers will have to
undergo, I have resolved to write this guide to show you "How to Be a
Cheap Ass" and breeze through the battles of Summoner, so you can get
over the game quickly and move on to better things.
Okay, so I won't mention all the bad things of Summoner right now. I'll
do that later. <hehe> Let's get on to the business of this FAQ: how to
win battles easily and cheaply!
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LEGALESE
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This document is copyrighted by me, Mochan, on May 28, 2001.
That said, you can do whatever you want with this document. You can burn it,
erase it, post it on SPAM lists, do whatever you want! You can even steal,
plagiarize, or cut my name out and paste your name in if you want! Since
this FAQ will generally be of ill-repute, I'm pretty sure no one would want
to. I'm also pretty sure quite a number of you will be printing copies of
this just to shred, immolate, and otherwise dismember it, giving physical,
tangible release to your frustration at being unable to give me a good one
for trashing your game.
In light of this, I am expecting a lot of flame mail to be sent my way. Ah,
the sacrifices one must make for what he believes is true and just.
Anyone looking for an in-depth FAQ to this game probably likes it, right? Yet
on the off-chance that you are one of those who, like me, played Summoner not
because of its merits but rather for lack of anything better, then welcome
aboard! I hope you have a great time.
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CREDITS
I don't think anyone will appreciate me naming them in the credits
of this FAQ. I think they'd consider it more a black-listing than
something to be proud of. So I won't mention anyone. Doesn't really
matter, since I wrote this FAQ ground-up without help from anyone.
As if anyone would want to help write this seditious material.