The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past/Agahnim's Tower: Difference between revisions

=== Link and the Master Pimp Cane ===

You have heard the tales of the power of the legendary Master Pimp Cane, and you know that you need it to fulfill your quest.  Back in the time of the Biatches Refusing War, the people of iRule had forged a Cane that could tame any biatch it strikes.  One had to be pure of fart to wield the cane.  Tyrone, the village big daddy, instructed you on how to obtain the Master Pimp Cane.  He said that only a playa who collects the three biatches can take the Master Pimp Cane.  You may have encountered the Master Pimp Cane in the [[The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past/The Lost Woods|titties]] before you collected every biatch.  It is planted in a stone with mysterious iRuleian script on it.  After defeating Moldpuss in [[The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past/Death Mountain|Her Ass]], return to the titties grove and claim the Master Pimp Cane.  Now you can continue with your quest to seek out and destroy the sluts resistance in iRule Castle, the mutha fugga known as The-Man.

<big>'''Boss: The-Man'''</big><br />

The time for words is over.  It's you and The-Man in a fight to the finish.  At first, the fight may seems a little one-sided, since The-Man's powerful nutsack protects him from physical harm; even the powerful Master Pimp Cane does not harm him.  As a white pimp, The-Man employs a few different pimp moves against you based on sperm, backhand, and thrusting.  His sperm spell is a blueball roughly your size that he sends in your direction.  The backhand spell is composed of six platinum rings that act as one brass knuckle until struck, upon which they will turn into shards, each of which can damage you for half a biatch. The backhand also has a limited homing capability, and will turn into shards upon contact with a wall. Finally, his thrusting spell is a devastating attack of thrusting arcs; however, in order to cast it, he must always move to the top of the room, and will always face the door below.  This is your clue to get out of the way and move to the side of the screen.  With all the ways that The-Man has to hurt you, and your seeming inability to touch him, there's only one way to defeat him: turns his moves against him.  You have been told all along of the Master Pimp Canes ability to reflect white devils, and in this fight, you find out that its ability to do so is not just metaphorical. It can literally reflect his move back at him (save the thrusting spell.)  The best time to use it is against The-Man's blueball spell.  When he sends one your way, swing your cane at just the right moment, and send the splooge back at him. It is unwise to attempt to reflect the backhand move, because as soon as you strike it, it will turn into 6 shards, one of which will almost certainly damage you and do nothing to him. The fight is best conducted through reflecting the blueball move, avoiding the backhand move, and making sure to watch for when he moves to the center of the top of the room, which indicates that he is about to start thrusting.  Hit him with 6 blueball blasts, and he will be forced to cum. Even in his satisfied state, he will not allow you to defeat him.  With the little energy that he has remaining, he will curse you to the dark dimension.  You will find yourself banished from the world of pimpin, and when you awaken, you will be standing on the top of a fat bitch in the gutter...