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Red Valdez Red Valdez
You are talking to the Zaibatsu. You can probably see some of us now - the cool-looking characters dressed in grey.

You want our respect? Try disposing of filthy Rednecks!

Green phones[edit]

FIRE TRUCK FUN![edit]

North phone

Red Valdez Red Valdez
Gecko! Red Valdez here. A new SRS Flamethrower is being transported across the city in an SRS Security Van - and I want it.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
The Security Van has a new locking mechanism which can't be opened by conventional methods. The driver might be persuaded to get out by the Cops...

OK, Gecko, here's the deal - steal a Cop Car.

Red Valdez Red Valdez
That's useful - a spare Cop Uniform. Nice fit!
Scientist Scientist
Can I help you, officer?
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Excellent, Gecko. Bring the Security Van to The Village and park it in my Garage.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Fantastic, Gecko. This particular Flamethrower will only operate in conjunction with a Fire Truck. So what are you waiting for? Go get a Fire Truck!
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Bring the Fire Truck to The Village!
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Super, Gecko! My Z-Technicians will have the Flamethrower attached in seconds.

Now the new Fire Truck is ready let's put it to the test! Head for Mobile RV and barbecue at least 30 Rednecks!

Red Valdez Red Valdez
Great! Get cooking, Gecko!
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Scorcher, Gecko! The Rednecks are roasting and the SRS are taking the blame! We have many jobs for the resourceful. In the meantime, please accept $30,000.

SCIENCE FRICTION![edit]

South phone

Red Valdez Red Valdez
Gecko! Red Valdez here. I need you to bomb the SRS Clone Test Center so it looks like a Redneck attack. Montana's Pickup is loaded with lethal explosives. Steal it.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Working well, Gecko! Park the Pickup at the South End of the Clone Test Center.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Arm the explosives with your trigger finger, Gecko. But don't wait around!
Red Valdez Red Valdez
She's gonna blow, Gecko! Get out of the Pickup!
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Holy shit, Gecko! What a BANG! What a BLAST! Have $30,000 for a job well done.

Yellow phones[edit]

OPERATION Z![edit]

West phone

Red Valdez Red Valdez
Gecko - it's Red Valdez. The Rednecks and Scientists are moving new contraband around this city and I want it ALL. I want you to bring me FOUR loaded vehicles.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
There's a Pickup full of pills at the Redneck Bowling Alley. Go get it, Gecko.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Well stolen, Gecko! Now park the Pickup in my Garage in The Village.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
A Meteor driving across the city contains Clone Serum and two hot Bio-Bitches. Stop it and steal it.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Storming, Gecko! Park the Meteor in my Garage in The Village.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Tricky one next, Gecko. Steal Bean's Red Limousine from Disgracelands.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
A few fat lines and I will feel like The King in this baby. Park it in the The Village - fast!
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Now I need a certain Cop Car, Gecko. But first you need to get a Truck Cab.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Good, Gecko. Now collect the Trailer from behind the Cop Station.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Head up over to The Village where our Crane will unload the Cop Car.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Park the Cop Car, Gecko. I'm looking forward to playing Cops And Robbers. Ha ha ha.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
You exude Zaibatsu style as our Number One Covert Operative, Gecko. Your performance was well worth $50,000. Fancy joining me to bang a Bio-Bitch?

VALDEZ ALERT![edit]

East phone

Red Valdez Red Valdez
Gecko - Red Valdez here. I want you to infiltrate the SRS Research Center and destroy their Cold Fusion Generators. Some Z-Men will join you shortly.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Access to the Research Center appears impossible but we have found a way - over a line of rooftop ramps and then on to and along the old Railway Track.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Super driving, Gecko! Get out of the vehicle and use the Rocket Launcher to destroy the TWO Cold Fusion Generators.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
There are Anti-Blast Suit Dispensers on the walkways leading to each Generator, Gecko. You can't miss them. But beware the SRS Guards - they won't be so forgiving.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Generator One ELIMINATED!
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Generator Two ANNIHILATED!
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Well done, Gecko. Cold Fusion will remain a laboratory myth. Have $50,000. Stay in touch!

LAW ENFORCEMENT LARCENY![edit]

Previous phone

Red Valdez Red Valdez
Red Valdez here! I have some extra special jobs in line for you, Gecko. But first I need to know just how tough you are. Can you steal a SWAT Van?
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Stylish, Gecko! Bring the SWAT Van to my Garage.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
So you can handle a SWAT Team. But do you have what it takes to steal a Special Agent Car, Gecko? Go for it!
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Cool, Gecko! Park the Special Agent Car at my Garage.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
I can see you have a great future ahead of you, Gecko. For your splendid performance I give you... How does $50,000 sound?

Red phone[edit]

MURDER IN THE MALL![edit]

Red Valdez Red Valdez
Ah, Gecko! Red Valdez here. I'm curious to see how well you handle extreme situations. Some Z-Men will join you shortly. Your destination is The Mall.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Now here's the deal. Kill 100 Scientists in The Mall - but no vehicles, understand! I want to see how well you can handle firepower under duress.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Commendable combat skills, Gecko! Here's $70,000 in recognition of your ruthlessness.

DISTRACTION ACTION![edit]

Red Valdez Red Valdez
Gecko - it's Red Valdez. I need you to create a diversion - something to distract the Cops. Go to the Video Store for further directions.
Video Store Video Store
Head up the steps and across the pipes to get inside the Cop Station. Destroy the rooftop Generator to open the exit then steal the Trailer with a Special Agent Car on it.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
SHIT! Destroying the Generator has set off an alarm! Get the Truck, Gecko - and get the hell out of there!
Red Valdez Red Valdez
Distract the Cops and avoid getting arrested for ONE minute. That should give me just enough time to pull off the little job I have planned.
Red Valdez Red Valdez
That was perfect, Gecko. Ha ha! One day perhaps I might share the reason for my mirth with you. For now, here's $70,000.

ZAIBATSU GANG COMPLETE![edit]

Red Valdez Red Valdez
Well done, Gecko! You have passed all of the Zaibatsu jobs.